A BEATLES' HARD-DIE'S SITE

Beatles' Wives - 1: Cynthia Powell/Lennon

John and Cynthia Lennon: married in 1962





"It was said I never loved Cyn. That's far from the truth. We were young, bigheaded, and got into a physical relationship too soon. Perhaps if we took things slow we would have made it. I know we would have made it." - John Lennon 1974





Quotes

"I met Cynthia at art school. She was a right Hoylake runt. Dead snobby. We used to poke fun at her and mock her, me and Geoff Mohammed. 'Quiet Please,' we'd shout, 'No dirty jokes, It's Cynthia.' We had a class dance and I asked her to dance. Geoff had been having me on, saying, 'Cynthia likes you, you know.' As we danced I asked her to come to a party the next day. She said she couldn't. She was engaged." - John Lennon

"John asked me to dance and I nearly died. Bingo! I then amazed myself by being very cool, calm and collected outwardly-inside I was out of this world. The dance was slow and smoochy. I was aloof and John, I think, was slightly embarrassed. It was all very painful and beautiful at the same time. The remaining students were looking on with puzzled expressions at such an unlikely combination." - Cynthia Lennon

"We used to take the mickey out of her, but John always said he fancied her. He called her Miss Prim. He was certainly always attracted to her from the first time he saw her in the canteen." - Thelma Pickles

"I was triumphant at having picked her up. We had a drink and went back to Stu's flat, buying fish and chips on the way." - John Lennon



"She was very pretty-Bardot like. I used to look at her from across the canteen and then I heard she had been caught by that shit Lennon. They looked at eachother adoringly, totally fixated." - Michael Isacson

"He wanted total commitment and I was pleased to give it. If I as much as looked at another man, he would go mad and say, 'Who's he?' in a moody voice." - Cynthia Lennon

"I was hysterical. That was the trouble. I was jealous of anyone she had anything to do with. I demanded absolute trust from her, because I wasn't trustworthy myself. I was neurotic, taking all my frustrations out on her. She did leave me once. That was terrible. I couldn't stand being without her." - John Lennon

"George and Paul both thought it a great laugh that John was so keen on Cynthia, the lovely girl who used to go to art school with him. Even then, four years before they married, they were crazy over each other. Cyn used to travel thirty miles a night from her home in Hoylake just to sit by the stage of the Casbah, listening to John playing with us." - former bandmate Ken Brown



"Postman Postman don't be slow! I'm in love with Cyn, so go man, go!" - John Lennon on envelope to Cynthia.

"When John was with me, it was total commitment. Whatever he did outside our relationship didn't seem very important. We were together such a lot of the time that whatever other affairs he had once we met couldn't have amounted to much because I was with him most of the time. He kept me in Liverpool as late as I dared stay." - Cynthia Lennon

"They were totally opposites but right for eachother, and although they came from different backrounds, they were a perfect match. I think they would have obviously taken longer to get married, but it would have happened. They loved eachother very much. There was no separating them" - Phyllis McKenzie (mutual friend)
"I fell in love with Cynthia. It's as simple as that." - John Lennon in a Beatles interview

"It's not like we denied it. It's just no one asked us." - John Lennon regarding marriage to Cynthia.

"We were both sort of bowled over by the fact that we were married. It wasn't a question of 'Have we done the right thing?' It was all perfectly natural that we should be together. But John didn't get a real chance to be first a real husband or later, a real father. Once he got on the Beatles bangwagon he couldn't get off, even if he wanted to." - Cynthia Lennon



"John needed to escape his reality. I understood completely but I couldn't go along with him." - Cynthia Lennon regarding John's drug taking.

"The beginning of the end." - Cynthia Lennon regarding John's drug taking.

"It was at this point in our marriage that I realized that unless I joined the club, we weren't going to survie, so I succumed to one of John's never ending requests to take LSD with him. I didn't want to but I felt that I had to save our marriage. I also believe John in his own way was doing the same. During my trip John was marvellous. But whatever happiness and awareness John gained through it, I didn't. I hated every moment. It was hell on earth. The hallucinations sent me into a panic. Through my tears and fears I would look at John in the hope that he could in some way help me out of the prison my mind had become., only to see the man I loved turn into a giant mule with razor sharp teeth leering and laughing at me. All the time John kept telling me he loved me and would never leave me. All I could reason was that I was definitely going mad. It was something I never wanted to experience again." - Cynthia Lennon

"I lost John to drugs." - Cynthia Lennon

"It was said I never loved Cyn. That's far from the truth. We were young, bigheaded, and got into a physical relationship too soon. Perhaps if we took things slow we would have made it. I know we would have made it." - John Lennon 1974



"Cynthia's grown up with it, with me." - John Lennon

"There were definitely two sides to John...his softer side came out in his initital love and tenderness for Cynthia." - Pete Best

"People say Cynthia was a mundane, hometown girl, 'mumsy' - your average Mrs Liverpool. That's a load of nonsense. Cynthia was a highly talented woman in her own right. She painted, she drew, she sculpted, she designed." - Julia Baird John's sister


April 1962: John writing to his girlfriend Cynthia during The Beatles' stay in Hamburg, Germany

Star Club
39 Grossse Frieher
Actona Hamburg

Dear Cyn,
I love love love you and I'm missing you like mad. I wonder why all the newspapers wrote about Stu' - especially the 'People' - and how the hell did they find out, who could have told them, as I wrote that I suddenly remembered there's a fellow at the 'Jacaranda' who's a freelance journalist. It could have been him because Allan Williams has been helping Mrs. Stutcliffe or something. I haven't seen Astrid since the day we arrived. I've thought of going to see her but I would be so awkward - and probably the others would come as well and it would be even worse. I won't write any more about it 'cause it's not much fun. I love you - I don't like the idea of Dot moving in permanently with you 'cause we could never be alone really - I mean when I come home - can't she have the other room or find another flat - imagine having her there all the time when we were in bed - and imagine Paul coming all the time - and especially when I wasn't there. I'd hate the idea. I love you Cyn.

The club is massive and we only play 3 hrs one night and 4 the next - and we play an hour - then an hour break so it doesn't seem long at all really. The boss of this place is a good skin - we're off tomorrow 'cause it's Good Friday and they can't have music so the boss - (Manfred) is taking us and the other group out for the day in his car and all the rest of them like Horst are coming, so it will be a big mob in our 5 cars. We're going somewhere healthy like the Osr Sea (Stuart again)

God, I'm knackered its 6 o'clock in the morning and I want you. (I've just found out that there's no post tomorrow so I will pack in good night. I love you boo! hoo! I hate this place).

That was Thursday night now its Sunday afternoon, I've just wakened up and there no post tomorrow (Easter Monday I think) anyway happy Easter Cyn. I love you. We went out, but all we did was eat and eat and eat (Good Friday) it was all free so it was okay. We drove somewhere about 80 miles away and ate.

My voice has been gone since I got here (it was gone before I came if I remember rightly). I can't seem to find it - ah well! I love you Cyn Powell and I wish I was on the way to your flat with the Sunday papers and cherries and a throbber! Oh Yes! I forgot to tell you I've got a GEAR suede overcoat with a belt so I'll look just like you now! Paul's leaping about on my head (he's in a bunk on top of me and he's snoring!) I can hardly get in a position to write its so cramped below stairs captain, Shuttup McCartney! grunt grunt.

I can't wait to see your new room it will be great seeing it for the first time and having chips and all and a ciggie (don't let me come home to a regular smoker please Miss Powell) Hmm I can just see YOU and Dot puffing away I suppose that's the least of my worries. I love you cyn I miss miss miss you miss Powell - I keep remembering all the parts of Hamburg that we went to together. In fact I can't get away from you - especially on the Way, and inside the Seaman, boo! hoo! I love love love you. X

Did I tell you that we have a good bathroom with a shower, did I? Did I tell you? Well, I've had ONE whole shower aren't I a clean little raker? hee! hee! I love you I haven't written to Mimi yet but I know how to send her money so it gets there in 2 hrs. XXX

I can't think what to write now so I will pack in and write some tomorrow seeing as how like I can't POST it anyway so good afternoon Cyn I love you. Will you send me the words to "A SHOT OF RHYTHM AND BLUES" Please? There's not many.

It's Monday night and we finished playing about 3/4 hrs ago (its 2 o'clock). I'm dead beat my sweet, so I hope you won't mind if I finish now and have lovely sleep (without you but it'll still be lovely - don't be hurt - but I'm so, so tired). I love you Cyn - I hope you realise why this letter took so long lovey but there has been no post Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon - and this one will go by the early morning Tuesday post 'cause I will nip downstairs and post it any minute (handy isn't it?) I love you, I love you please wait for me and don't be sad and work hard and be a clever little Cyn Powell. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, write soon ooh its a naughty old Hamburg we're living in!!

All my Love for Ever and ever
from
John
XXXXXX XXXXXX
P.S. They're leather PANTIES not pants (just in case y'know!)
I LOVE YOU, GOOD NIGHT


August 1965: John writing to Cynthia during The Beatles' American Tour

...what he said about it. It's not that much bother really, is it? When you think about it - 'cause I'm sure Dot [the Lennon's housekeeper] and Lil' [Cynthia's mother] and Bennigs, Tommy, Jordy, etc. can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day - I don't mean Julian - I mean don't pack him off to Dots or anywhere - I really miss him as a person now - do you know what I mean, he's not so much 'The Baby' or 'My Baby' anymore, he's a real living part of me now, you know he's Julian and everything and I can't wait to see him, I miss him more then I've ever done before - I think it's been a slow process my feeling like a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable. I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I've wasted not being with him - and playing with him - you know I keep thinking of THOSE stupid bastard times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other shit while he's in the room with me and I've decided it's ALL WRONG! He doesn't see enough of me as it is and I really want him to know and love me, and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much.
I'll go now 'cause I'm bringing myself down thinking about what a thoughtless bastard I seem to be - and it's only short of three o'clock in the afternoon, and it seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional - I really feel like crying - its stupid - and I'm choking up now as I'm writting - I don't know what's the matter with me - It's not the tour that's so different from other tours - I mean I'm having lots of laughter (you know the type hee! hee!) but in between the laughter there is such a drop - I mean there seems to be in between feelings. Anyway I'm going now so this letter doesn't get to draggy.

I love you very much.
To Cyn
From
John XXXXXXXXXX
P.S. Say hello to Charle etc. for me
P.P.S. I think you can ring me if you have a phone there try - if not I'll see you in about a week.
271-6565
LOS ANGELES,
CALIFORNIA.
P.P.P.S. It's Monday the 23rd today and I leave this house next Monday the 30th of August - so try to please

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